039: Parenting Roles and Gender Equality

February 12th, 2020 · 45 mins 12 secs

About this Episode

Parent Driven Development

Episode 039: Parenting Roles and Gender Equality with Richard Schneeman

Welcome Richard Schneeman!

Schneems writes Ruby at Heroku, and maintains CodeTriage.com, a tool for helping people contribute to Open Source. He is in the top 50 Rails contributors and is an accidental maintainer of Sprockets and Puma. When he isn't obsessively compulsively refactoring code for performance, he writes such gems as Wicked, and derailed_benchmarks.

00:30 Welcome, Richard Schneeman!

01:00 All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers and the Myth of Equal Partnership

05:18 Progressive Parenting

  • What’s fair?
  • Progressive until they have to make a change..

08:15 Moms vs. Dads

  • Dad’s get applauded when caring for children in public
  • Creating boundaries of designated mom and dad jobs with the kids

10:50 Visible Work vs. Invisble Work

  • How to balance and create boundaries between partners
  • RSVP’s - CC’d emails, response, birthday presents, who’s responsible?
  • Coding pairs and how they relate

17:01 How to Define Who is Responsible?

  • Create a system
  • The mentorship manner
  • Not only doing what is asked, but proactively taking steps

21:15 Meta Tasks

  • Partners double checking each others work, basically twice the work!
  • Micro managing

25:30 Calendar System

  • Shared task and to-do lists
  • Bringing work management systems into home management systems; Learning AGILE
  • Schedule a weekly meeting with your partner to go over shared cared
  • Check the calendar!

31:01 Genius / Fail moments

  • Josh’s daughter gets her hair dyed and it looks great, but her new conditioner leaks the blue color from her hair all over the bathroom! #fail
  • Chris coordinates Grandpa time to give his wife more free time #genius
  • Richard’s son glues his favorite picture on his bedroom wall, with handwritten marker too #geniusfail
  • Allison has a genius in Sweden with her two young children

All the Rage: Mothers, Father, and the Myth of Equal Partnership

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Allison McMillan
Chris Arcand
Josh Puetz