About this Episode
Parent Driven Development
Episode 036: Adoption
- This episode will discuss the process of international adoption, the major changes that hit home, and future challenges adopting parents and children face
00:28 Welcome, Kalimar
- How long does it take to adopt a child internationally? It took Kalimar 2 ½-3 years!
- Kalimar and his wife have had their baby girl for 6 months, she is now 21 month old
- Huge learning curve welcoming a child that already has mobility
01:12 Why choose adoption?
- Kalimar and his wife are 35+ and decided this was the right option for them
01:39 What is process for international adoption?
- Adoption ad in paper, an option
- International adoption agencies is most common and safe
- International adoption requirements: Micro scale of state approval, social workers, background checks, reading, workshops, cultural events, then moving to federal approval then international country approval
4:43 How hard is it to adopt a child? Is parenting easier or harder?
- The paperwork is tough, but Kalimar says parenting is harder!
- Everyone and every book has a different advice on parenting
- Kids don't come with instructions
6:05 Challenges of being a new parent?
- No more late nights because baby doesn’t sleep in
- The need for more friendly activities with friends, luckily most of Kalimar's friends already have kids!
- Secret sledding hills that have mostly been kid only zones are now opened up to play at
8:08 Experiencing everything with fresh eyes
- KWU's son is full of excitement and the energy is contagious
- Kalimar's daughter eats spaghetti for the first time and its adorable
- New toddlers like to explore their limits and gravity
10:36 Things to consider when adopting a child
- The challenges in adopting a newborn verse a toddler
- Kalimar had to baby proof before bringing his daughter home
- The danger kid zone within the house, everyone has one
12:20 Are post adoption services and consultants available?
- Yes! Massive support from adoption agency, trainings, workshops, other families and community members
- Why parenting classes are important and how biological parents should be put through parenting school just like adoption parents
- First day with adopted child - the bumps, triumphs and everything in between
15:23 How do you decide which agency or country to choose from?
- First google agency, then attend an open house and adoption seminars, see who you mesh with
- Factor in expense of international adoption cost and timeline that it will take
17:45 How do the adoption seminars prepare you?
- Kalimar reflects on the self question of making it known that his daughter is adopted in daycare or not
- Adoption transition tips - understanding the child is going through HUGE emotional changes
- Kalimar feels lucky his daughter is so adaptable
- How to talk about the adoption process with your child at the level they can understand.
- Open discussion is best, remove the taboo
- Adoptive parents do a whole lot of work and are totally the parents
24:13 Top parent concerns, are they adoption based?
- Kalimar worries about his daughter being treated as a minority, as he and his wife are caucasion and their daughter is Indian.
- Girl and dad relationship, other common worries
- Become a part of the local community of their daughters orgin
- Pros and cons of exposing your child to their origin country
28:46 Genius / Fail moments
- Chris stores old legos and toys in his attic until his friends with new babies need them. Out of the house and supporting a friend #parentingwin
- Allison gets crafty by using walkie-talkies to keep in touch with her 4-year-old son at her office HQ #genius
- JC’s 10-year-old daughter is a total catch! She learns how to put in the work to improve her skills as her teams catcher.
- KWU’s son is repeating everything. She’s noted to watch her language, but proud that her son has picked up on her good habits and is mimicking new language.
- Kalimar temps his daughter back to the dinner table by making it look like the most delicious time ever!
- Kids continue to throw food on the ground... to learn reaction and explore new roles #fail
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