Episode 067: Goodbye, for now.

1:00 Parent Driven Development reflects on what it’s like being a panelist on the podcast

• Imposter syndrome
• Multiple purposes to be an effective parent
• Expanding perspectives, ideas, and parenting techniques
• Ability to relate with one another

8:40 What we hope to our listeners take away from the podcast

• There is no one way to parent
• You’ll continue to grow as a parent
• You are not alone - every parent, kid, family, circumstances are different

13:30 What would we have done differently?

• Earlier sponsorship
• Episode format

16:15 Parting words for listeners

• Thank you!!
• You’re doing a great job.

17:17 Final genius and fail moments

• Chris Sexton’s daughter uses the word arithmetic with her peers, but no one knows the word leading her to question whether her parents played a prank on her.
• Allison calms down her family with deep breathing after her daughter has a potty accident.
• KWu’s 3-year-old son feels super proud after helping shovel the snow, and he helped!
• Chris Arcand finds the perfect snow sled for his son to be towed around in the deep Minnesota snow.

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Chris Arcand
Chris Sexton
KWu
Allison

Episode 063: Fear in Parenting

0:40 Fear and stress of parenting

• From independent… to having dependents
• Trends of becoming more conservative once a parent

2:50 Decision making process

• High alert, more burden than non-parents
• Different decisions and problems at different stages of the kids
• Background buzz of constant anxiety

6:40 Different stresses

• Physical dangers for smaller kids, choking hazards
• Trying to avoid helicopter parenting
• Screen interest, programming, and patience

10:55 Big anxieties

• Screen time !! Constant worry and stress for modern parents with kids
• Augmenting reality through screens - stress for middle school aged parents
• How to foster new sibling relationships

Siblings Without Rivalry - book

• How to avoid middle child syndrome with three kids, carve out alone time with each child
• Feeling guilty to tell kids to play by themselves.. But it’s also important to learn

21:35 Genius and fail moments from the last week

• KWu moves to a new house and her son is waking every night from terrors or feeling too cold as she’s been keeping the thermostat down real low. #fail
• Jess’s son is a pretty adventurous eater and recently discovered balsamic vinegar which is now a new favorite! #genius
• Chris makes biscuits and conjures a family night which turned into a great family time. #genius

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Jess
Chris S
KWu

Facebook Rabbit Holes for Parents + Kid Toys

• Subculture for wooden toys
• The Nugget couch
• Parents become hyper focused on specific products
• Careful what your Google
• How to choose your Facebook groups
• The Social Dilemma
• Social media groups are "bad"/addicting, but also useful..
• Geo-fencing - creating fairer ways for international purchases
• The lottery
• Lucie's List
• Pandemic toys for the New Year
• More pressure for parents
• Moms targeted mostly in the Facebook Groups
• Marketing kids toys with trigger language: “Investment piece”

Parents: You are doing a GREAT job.

Genius / Fails

KWu tries to rotate out toys and clothes for her son, but things aren’t going well.
Allison smoothly close out virtual Ruby conf while managing multiple interruptions from her kids

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

KWu
Allison

Episode 058: Co-parenting with Brandon Hays

Welcome Brandon!

Brandon Hays is a dad and engineering leader based in Austin, TX. His professional mission is to help the tech industry improve by organizing people to accomplish things together in environments that recognize and support their "human-ness". His personal mission is to survive parenthood until the kids are in college.

02:40 Brandon's co-parenting

• Starting with traditional gender roles
• Co-parenting was a foriegn concept until remote work..
• The invisible work becomes more visible
• Covid has forced parents to confront the amount of work it takes to raise kids

06:30 Co-parenting during the pandemic

• Awareness that things changed… kids cannot return to school
• Brandon becomes the educator during the pandemic
• The amount of work to parent became too high when everything shut down
• Reworking the home dynamic when one partner needs help
• Asking for flexibility in places where he had previous thought was not available before

10:53 Working out responsibility between partners

• Clear contracts
• Splitting up tasks and making them known to each partner
• Alternating cooking dinner and clean up
• Family clean day
• Creating activities for kids, even after a long day
• Check in with your partner, how are you feeling burden?

14:05 Recognize your partner's strengths

• Being comfortable with how each partner co-parents
  
• Recognition of each partner
• Optimize each parenting style and continue to check in
• Asking and taking the self-care when it is needed

17:30 Working together

19:10 How has Covid refocused things?!

• Strengthened the team mentality
• Hard to sustain the intensity of the pandemic
• Constant change, the on-call parent

24:40 Prioritization - Do our actions line up with our values?

27:00 Take away: preserve time for planning and reflection

28:35 Genius / fail moments

• Allison checks in while her son is in virtual school and feels major mom guilt…
• Chris’s family visits and brings his camper for a huge win!
• Arit slyly phases out her daughters stuffed animal #genius
• Jess’s son goes full into minecraft, but it may be too much.. #possiblegenius
• KWu repurposed geotags for wooden toys for her kids #genius
• Brandon get creative taking pictures of his kids in their natural habitat

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Chris Arcand
Jess
Arit
Allison
KWu

Special Guest: Brandon Hays.

Sponsored By:

• The Preschool Box: Hey parents, whether you are going back to school or learning from home, the Preschool Box is here to help! The Preschool Box is all about helping children unlock their potential by making learning FUN! Each month, The Preschool Box will send you a box packed full of engaging and educational activities with a focus on reading and math skills that will prepare your little one for success in school. It’s AMAZING! These monthly “work at your own pace” activities encourage learning, reading, and creativity in kiddos ages 3-6 and each box has an array of hands on activities, crafts, and worksheets -- which you can structure to match your child’s pace and level of development! And the best part is that every box has a set of focus skills so each month you get new and exciting material to work on! The work you do at home NOW with your kids is SO important for their future! Let The Preschool Box help you and your child have fun learning together! Head over right now to: thepreschoolbox.com and use code "PARENTDRIVEN" to get $5 off your first preschool box! Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN

Episode 053: The Parenting Playbook with Anna Mackenzie

Sponsor: Nurture Life

Welcome, Anna Mackenzie

Anna Mackenzie is a Software Engineer who is dedicated to improving parental leave policies in tech. She is currently working at Voiceflow, a software startup that specializes in workflow tools for building voice experiences. She is the co-author of “The Expecting Playbook,” a toolkit that helps start-ups of all sizes to roll out supportive parental leave policies. Her follow-up book, titled “The Parental Playbook,” provides start-ups with the necessary tools to support parents upon their return to work. In 2018, Anna was named as one of the Top 25 Women of Influence in Canada, as well as one of the Top 30 Women In Tech Making a Difference by the DMZ.

02:40 How did you come up with the idea? Why write these books?

• Being a minority in the industry
• Starting to ask difficult questions to companies she was interviewing for
• No startup policy that lead to leadership roles for women
• Companies need a better hiring practices for women

05:50 Asking about parental leave during interviews

• Maternity AND paternity leave
• Are companies set up to have employees transition easily in and out of leave?

08:40 Changing perspective in the workplace

• The work place was designed for a world that no longer exists
• The necessary reason to be LOUD about things you believe in

13:35 Good policies get great people

• Employer thinking about childcare > parents thinking about childcare
• Diversity includes parents

17:10 How are companies adjusting to parents during COVID19

• Moms are typically affected more
• How can we restructure what work looks like - long overdue!

18:40 How to be inclusive of parents when they come back from leave

• Changing activities other than happy hour
• Adding a lock to the pumping room
• The importance of having diverse leadership and voices

20:45 Psychological safety

• What’s OK for parents to mention to their team?
• Will the team think less because a parent is sleep deprived
• Employees do better work

26:15 Genius / fail moments

• KWu gets her son to help with the dishes one utensil at a time to keep him from making a mess in the living room. #genius
• Allison creates an obstacle course to keep her kids occupied, which includes a captain’s hat! #genius
• Arit stays consistent potty training her daughter and finally gets onto the other side of potty training! #HUGEwin
• Anna’s dog gets sprayed by a skunk at a friend's house, cleans him off and then goes home, to only get skunked again in her backyard!! #fail

How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community!

Panel

Allison McMillan
Arit Amana
KWu

Special Guest: Anna Mackenzie.

Sponsored By:

• Nurture Life: Parents everywhere are going through so much stress and uncertainty right now. It’s hard to find sources of relief nowadays. This is why we are Parent Driven Development love Nurture Life. Nurture Life provides nutritious, ready-to-eat meals for babies starting at 10 months old, toddlers, kids, and teens, delivered fresh right to your door. Meals are designed to meet the nutrient and portion needs for each age group, and are developed by Nurture Life’s registered dietitians and chefs. Meals are focused on organic produce, antibiotic- and hormone-free proteins and whole grains, and offer a FULL serving of veggies in every meal. Nurture Life has recently launched new and exciting meals, such as the Chicken, sweet potato, & waffle finger food for babies and the Butter Chicken with Peas, Rice, & Mini Naan for toddlers, kids, & Teens. In addition to these new offerings, there will also be additional meals that will be available on the menu for a limited time period to continue to provide innovative, flavorful and unique meals options for families. Nurture Life easy subscription model allows you to sign up for weekly deliveries, skip weeks, or pause your subscription whenever you want. You can build your own box to select the right mix of meals for your family by age group, dietary restrictions, and allergies. Get the best meals for your kids and family delivered right to your door—available for every zip code across the contiguous United States. Get 30% off your first TWO Nurture Life orders with code PARENTDRIVEN30. Visit nurturelife.com to redeem and find a moment of relief when it comes to meal time. Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN30

Episode 048: Darcy Lockman - All The Rage: Mothers, Fathers and The Myth of Equal Partnership

00:23 Welcome, Darcy!

Darcy Lockman is a former journalist turned clinical psychologist and the author of All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership. Her first book, Brooklyn Zoo, chronicled the year she spent working on the psychiatric ward of a city hospital. She lives and practices (for the time being virtually) in New York City.

00:39 Orgins of All The Rage

• Child care falls on Darcy more than her husband.. moms more than dads?
• Why are we living like this?
• The impact of patriarchy on all of us

04:25 Patriarchy instilled into our culture

• Women carry 65% childcare work, while men carry 35%
• The feminine is looked down in society
• Communality / agency - girls raised to be more communal, boys are raised to be more agentic
• Women join the workforce, but keep up with childcare duties

09:32 How to guide kids with equal partnership at home

• Kids easily influenced from their outside world
• Identification with the same sex parent
• Gender detectives - searching for the group that they belong in
• The one way glass study
• Women have this idea that their male partner should not be inconvenienced, and that it’s ok if they are

16:17 Is being traditional wrong?

• What good dads get away with
• Stay at home mom stigma

19:05 Dual earning couples is sole focused on from All The Rage Book

• After work “breaks” ?After work “breaks” ?
• Unequal experience, unequal ability
• Taking care of children takes practice
• Paid paternity leave for men in other countries - use it or lose it

24:20 Who is responsible for the mental load?

• Techniques to share the workload
• Women tend to feel more responsible and may have to unlearn this feeling of taking no time off
• Underbenifitor / Overbenifitor - both sides uncomfortable

29:50 The pandemic is making the invisible workload more visible

• Possible progress to be made in couples

32:45 Genius / Fail moments

• JC’s kids have been helping around the house since the pandemic hit, including dinner! #geniuswin
• Chris grounds steak with kids to make tacos. They were a hit and ready to go, until Chris accidentally dropped a glass dish right next to the taco meat and glass got in the taco meat… Dinner restart #fail
• Darcy embraces a sugar vacation during the pandemic and let’s her girls feast on junk food that is usually not allowed. #genuisfail maybe??

Get your copy of All The Rage!

### How can I support the podcast?

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community!

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

JC Avena
Chris Sexton

Special Guest: Darcy Lockman.

Sponsored By:

• RAYGUN: This episode is brought to you by RAYGUN. RAYGUN has been called, ’The Greatest Store in the Universe’ by RAYGUN. Saying they are the most important clothing store earth has seen since the early Mesozoic era. They specialize in t-shirts and modesty, and are completely made and produced in the USA. If you breathe oxygen, you’ll love it. Head over to Raygunsite.com to check out your next t-shirt purchase.

Episode 045: Miriam Tocino - Zerus and Ona

01:56 Welcome Miriam!

Zerus & Ona were born from Miriam's own circumstances as a mom. By the time she had her baby, Miriam was the coordinator and teacher of a Development Bootcamp in Amsterdam. So, when the time came to go back to work (her son was 3 months old), she jumped back. After some weeks in the job, Miriam realised she couldn't do it. She was constantly sleep deprived and with no help around from family (we're expats). Miriam quit her job and stayed at home with her baby. She then started to use his naps to draw and write Zerus & Ona.

**FREE PDF from Zerus and Ona on the ABCs of Computers

03:29 Orgins of Zerus and Ona

• Miriam was leading tech bootcamps, then got pregnant
• Her baby was more work than expected ;)
• Miriam returns to work, but quit after a few weeks after returning
• Sleep deprived evenings inspired new ideas!

08:40 Finding more intention as a new mom

• Thriving through a creative outlet
• Craving more information for her child in the future, specifically around TECH
• Motherhood and creativity are interconnected
• 2 year journey to build Zerus and Ona

15:05 Switching from architecture to tech to creative children’s books

• Binge learning and career switching
• No regrets

19:05 Zerus and Ona “bits”

• Breaking down complex topics to make them easily understandable
• Miriam switches from thinking with her head, to listening with her heart.
• Unlocking creativity through The Artist's Way
• Intuitive writing, journaling and play!

28:15 Zerus and Ona 2.0

• Evolution of creating the books
• If you’re thinking of making a move, do it!
• Learning to move on from perfectionism

32:20 Genius / Fail moments

• Miriam allows her son a device while she finishes a project (unheard of in her house), only to discover all her original drawings of Zerus and Ona are GONE afterwards. #fail
• Allison’s son acts out more than usual during a super busy week for the family and realizes that maybe their communication could have been clearer with him from the start #fail
• Chris commits to structuring a new art piece with his daughter by watching YouTube videos. He ends up paying someone else, but instills a solid mindset in his daughter during the process #genius

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Get your own copy of Zerus and Ona

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

Allison McMillan
Chris Sexton

Special Guest: Miriam Tocino.

Sponsored By:

• The Preschool Box: Hey parents, whether you are going back to school or learning from home, the Preschool Box is here to help! The Preschool Box is all about helping children unlock their potential by making learning FUN! Each month, The Preschool Box will send you a box packed full of engaging and educational activities with a focus on reading and math skills that will prepare your little one for success in school. It’s AMAZING! These monthly “work at your own pace” activities encourage learning, reading, and creativity in kiddos ages 3-6 and each box has an array of hands on activities, crafts, and worksheets -- which you can structure to match your child’s pace and level of development! And the best part is that every box has a set of focus skills so each month you get new and exciting material to work on! The work you do at home NOW with your kids is SO important for their future! Let The Preschool Box help you and your child have fun learning together! Head over right now to: thepreschoolbox.com and use code "PARENTDRIVEN" to get $5 off your first preschool box! Promo Code: PARENTDRIVEN

Episode 038: Women Mentorship with Kari Clark from Uplift Parents

Welcome, Kari Clark! Kari is the founder Uplift Parents, a coaching service for working moms. She previously worked at Google for 8 years, invented their live case product, and co-created many other products. Kari has two kids and believes that they both made her a better at her job! Interviewing over 100 women, all at the top of their field, Kari breaks down the common threads in successful working moms and how we all can amplify our lives. These are the best tips for working moms!

00:50 Welcome, Kari

• Had two kids during her time at google
• Became incredibly focused after kids
• Interviewing women at the top of their fields (all moms) and created Uplift

02:50 What was the trend of working moms from home and in the office?

• There is success in many ways
• Common trend, perspective, empathy and efficiency

04:45 Ruthless efficiency

• Make more of your time
• Details are huge after having kids
• OCD tendencies?!

7:35 How to balance efficiency with rest

• Uplift offers group or individual coaching sessions and encourages users to get off the hamster wheel and take time to reflect and make sure they are aligned with their path.
• Take time to savor your coffee, smell the flowers, and remember what’s important!
• Your careers are long, your kids are only very young for a short time

12:08 Enjoying work-life balance

• Feeling fulfilled from work, unapologetically, especially for women
• Creating intentional boundaries to spend time with family

14:10 Pushback from women mentorship

• Difference between mentorship and coaching
• Everyone has a nutritionist, trainer, and other specialists, why would you not have one on motherhood??
• Networking was the number 1 thing that got cut in women’s career post kids

19:50 Not parenting advice, working mom advice

• New life changes encourage new life habits
• Uplift promotes big changes
• 2nd kid offers ease for moms and promotes big changes!

24:30 Moms and dads treated differently

• Dads are praised more than moms

25:40 Best “Zone Defense” tips for working moms

• Be kind to yourself!
• Logistical tip - be creative in how you delegate things
• Be comfortable with giving your kids responsibility, most will rise to the challenge
• Assign responsibilities for each partner, and trusting that they are taking care of it

34:20 How to delegate

• More intentionality behind choices
• Uplift encourages conversations about household tasks, etc
• Do you enjoy it? If not, delegate

39:10 Mom data from Uplift Parents

41:15 Genius / Fail moments

• Kwu’s son falls down the stairs :(
• Chris takes his son to The Lion King and forgets all diapers…
• Kari genius/fail combo on his son’s new school schedule
• Josh realizes he needs help with guiding his daughter academically, but his daughter is totally on board and cooperative #genius #win
• Allison’s daughter is extra exploratory and discovers essential oils!

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

*As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

Panel

KWu
Allison McMillan
Chris Arcand
Josh Puetz

Special Guest: Kari Clark.

Episode 011: Being a Trans Parent

00:30 We're joined by our friend Jess today

We've been soliciting questions from our audience which will help guide our conversation today

02:00 How do you help young children who want to categorize everything in to boys and girls?

How do we talk about boy parts and girl parts and gender identity especially with young children?
It's a complex topic. Different children classify in different ways. Does it talk to how we socialize children? It changes when your children interact with other children in school.
Science has proven that gender identity is mostly internal and it is in flux until children are around 3 and then they demonstrate more behaviors that can be associated with a specific gender.

07:50 How much do body parts relate to gender identity?

Talking about body parts and explaining that you can't tell what a person is by looking at them. You need to ask,

9:00 Children see the world in different ways

There's a need to talk to children in different ways because the way children classify and categorize are different. It's important to reach a child in a way that makes sense for them.

You can still categorize and have these boundaries but talking about what defining characteristics and boundaries are is important.

We're seeing more categories now that are gender non-binary or gender fluid and that's another set of categories to introduce and look for in books.

When other people define those categories, it's also very difficult and overwriting peer pressure and social norms is tough.

We have to understand details and nuance. Needing to overwrite social norms and outside influence is so much of parenting.

It's a beautiful thing when parents can help their children learn compassion and talk through these questions.

14:14 If a child sees someone and wants to know what gender that person is, what is a good way to make sure we're guiding them correctly and having them ask in a way that is not offense and hurtful to the individual?

Parents react in a variety of ways when children ask. Jess talks about some of the reactions she's gotten and what is helpful in the moment.

The polite way to ask as an adult is "hi, my pronouns are and . What are your pronouns?" It's hard to tell by looking at folks so it can be normalized by just asking.

Sarah talks about a camp that does this and the children have picked up on it super quickly. Kids are much more open to these discussions now than we are at our age and they might be more open to these discussions because they are being raised in a different time.

19:50 Listener comment

Conversations about a trans girl in elementary school led to a lot of parental learning.

20:20 Are younger kids talking about this more and recognizing this earlier?

Definitely. Talking about media representations and cultural expectations of trans people in the past and present.

Late transitioners are going to become less and less common.

22:00 What's helpful as parents to make sure our children feel comfortable having these conversations with us?

Podcast: How to be a girl about a parent raising a trans girl

Book: Transgender 101 helps address these issues

As well as some helpful questions and approaches for parents with children talking about gender identification.

25:00 - 28:30 How do you deal with people who can't understand?

trigger warning Gender dysphoria and depression

dysphoria and euphoria. Talking about calling in a support system and recognizing how to be honest with ourselves and our families.

29:00 As parents, how to support trans families?

Best allies are simple things like using the correct pronouns because it's more about being a person and not about being trans.

Jess shares a Mother's Day story which shows fellow parent support and an example of allyship.

32:00 How to help young children develop identity in a world of gender policing?

Graciously accept gifts and then lose them. Trying to phrase things as play or as talking about play as what the child is doing.

Giving children options is good as well.

36:00 What are good resources?

Red: A Crayon's Story
I am Jazz
Kids books are few and far between.

For adults, pflag chapters are also good.
Jenny Boylan as an author is great.
Jess is also happy to chat on twitter!

39:00 Genius / Fail moments

Allison - I took my son to see the fireworks and he was excited but also terrified and asked to leave. I thought it was ok but then once we got home we needed to have a long discussion about how he's safe in the house from fireworks. I may have scarred him for life. #Fail

Chris - My kids wanted to wash the truck which was great but then they got bored of washing and took the hose to the side yard and now it's a muddy mess. #Genius

Jess - My son's daycare has been growing cucumbers and he brought home cucumbers to make pickles! #Genius

Josh - The food wars continue. My daughter helps me pick out the meals that get sent every week so she recognizes that she's agreed to what gets sent. #Genius

Sarah - My daughter drew a picture of being a spider vet when she grows up, but actually it was a spider pirate. She's got a great imagination. #Genius

Also, future genius? Family vacations are hard so instead of a family trip. We're doing 1-on-1 trips depending on where each child wants to go.

53:40 Contact Us!

Tell us if you have a question you want us to discuss on air!

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com. Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com
Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel:

Josh Puetz
Sarah Olson
Allison McMillan
Chris Sexton

Special Guest: Jess Szmajda.

Episode 007: Keeping up to date with tech

00:27 Welcome back Allison

01:00 Today topic: Learning during the work day

02:47 It's ok if learning doesn't happen when your kids are little

04:14 Learning if you're a single parent is more difficult

It's more difficult if you don't have a partner to hand things off to
Real talk: you will always just have less time

7:15 Choices and Bringing your laptop along

Being efficient and aware of the time you have
But don't burn out

12:36 The pressure to always be learning

Pros and cons to these feelings
How it relates to burn out
How it related to work/life balance

15:35 Staying competitive in the industry

Tools, tips, and tricks

18:36 Learning staycations

22:33 Know how you learn and setting goals

Knowing how you learn is really important
How much do you want to learn? To what extent? etc.

23:34 Learning while you're on the clock

Convincing your employer to give you time to learn
Selling learning time to your boss

34:36 External groups like meetups, slack, etc. are extremely important for having a peer group to learn from

Support groups are super important
Coworking locally is even helpful if you can't make it to meetups, etc.

37:10 Genius / Fail moments

Chris - Conference swag as gifts for kids when you get home #Genius
Allison - I get to do 3 because it's been a while. I started a subscription to Le Tote so I can get new clothes that are nursing and postpartum body friendly #Genius
Baby has been sleeping for the entire podcast #Genius
My son didn't realize he could get out of his room on his own in the morning and he thought he had been left home alone #Fail
Josh - Labo is a set of projects made out of cardboard and it's integrated into a Nintendo Switch. It's awesome, but we haven't had a chance to do it yet. #Genius
JC -We're participating in the mulch fundraiser. My kids had to go out and hustle and sell mulch, cover fees, etc. But the fail was that my 15 year old had a snarky answering machine message on his phone and he lost a sale as a result. #Genius turned #Fail

53:00 Contact Us!

Tell us what you're learning!

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com. Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com
Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel:

Josh Puetz
Allison McMillan
Chris Sexton
JC Avena

First Guest!
Heidi Waterhouse - Parent of two. Developer evangelist for LaunchDarkly. Volunteers teaching sex ed to teenagers. She likes to sew her own conference dresses and ride her bike.

1:00 Internet privacy and safety and how it is adaptable to kids of all ages.

How should kids protect themselves online, have manners, and use their time wisely. Online behavior is permanent these days, so kids should also consider using obfuscated names online. Pseudonyms are personas you can discard if necessary while keeping you safe. Online predation is possible, but you are more likely to be get gendered grief online.

8:00 Problematic relationships with Facebook

You can have a real name account, but you have to behave as if in an office all day. Kids have a harder time controlling impulses. Due to COPPA regulation, parents wanting their non teenage children to have an online account have to lie about the child’s age when signing them up. COPPA, well intentioned, but disenfranchises kids under 13 and forces parents to jump through hoops when getting their children online.

10:57 Wallet identity

Sometimes you want accolades and other positive achievements tied to your persona. Each kid is different and some will want the attention while others won’t. Some things you do in public and online forums will be public, regardless of your preference. As parents, we make decisions for our children. Everything decision we make for our children will be things they’ll have to live with. Some parents choose to not make choices for their children regarding online personas.

14:45 Less physical spaces

A book from Danah Boyd discusses how we’ve deprived teenagers from any space they can meet and hang out so the only space they have left is cyber space. Overscheduling, curfews, no hanging out at malls. Technology is making physical gatherings less common.

16:29 Cyber safety is the new Sex Ed

Schools have Google accounts for kids to use the Google suite for education. Cyber security education is the equivalent of abstinence only sex ed. 70% of parents have a password to their kids’ phones and monitor their devices.

20:35 Safe places for kids to explore online communication and not raising trolls.

Online platforms where kids can interact safely. Discord. Teach children what is appropriate, and give them the ability to identify what is right and wrong. “It’s only online, it doesn’t matter” is how you build an online troll. Everyone is a human on the other side of the screen.

24:51 Determining when your children should level up

Each kid is different and timing depends on each kid. Learnign what should be downloadable to your computer so it doesn’t break. What about your kid wanting a YouTube career? (Yes YouTube, no comments) Keeping their online circles to friend they know in person helps, while having open discussion about their online lives. Let them know they can be monitored, and privileges can be narrowed.

35:13 Genius/Fail moments

Andy - Picked up his kids from school but left his dog there. #FAIL

Allison - Continuation of last episode’s fail. Still reading fire safety book at bedtime. #FAIL

Heidi - 15YO assembled IKEA storage system by himself. #GENIUS

Chris - Kids decided to spend time roughhousing instead of online. Though he overheard from downstairs: SON: Stop! You’re going to break my arm! DAUGHTER: I don’t want to break your arm, I want to break your spirit! #GENIUS

Mandy - Going to Disney World! After a long long time of saving, it’s happening. #GENIUS

Follow & Support

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Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel:

Allison McMillan
Chris Sexton
Andy Croll
Josh Puetz
Mandy Moore

Special Guest: Heidi Waterhouse.

Mandy was on “vacation” and has to make an appearance at another conference. Her daughter doesn’t want her to go and Mandy feels really bad about it. She’s been on the road a lot the past six months and is feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. JC says it’s important to learn to say no and recharge by doing hobbies. Chris says it comes down to priorities.

06:12 - Playing Activity Hooky: AS A PARENT!

Mandy also feels bad because she knowingly skipped her daughter’s gymnastics practice because after returning from her trip, she didn’t feel like going, her daughter didn’t bring it up, so they didn’t go! Revelation: Other people have been known to do it too!

The panelists talk about how most of them grew up with their parent’s beliefs being drilled into them that if you sign up for a commitment, you do the commitment. Allison had the opposite upbringing when it came to that though.

16:45 - Feeling Judgement

As well as feeling bad about all of the above, Mandy has people in her life that judge her parenting style -- namely nosy neighbors. The panel talks about the differences between mothers and fathers getting judged and possibly having different licenses in the gender department when it comes to being parents.

They also discuss kids playing outside these days and that it is scary to let your child run free sometimes but come to the consensus that it’s generally necessary and healthy.

27:07 - Letting Kids Figure it Out by Themselves

The panelists talk about how it’s important for kids to learn conflict resolution instead of solving all of their problems for them. Eventually, they WILL work it out! They also agree they like to let their kids be themselves and have some independence when it comes to dressing themselves.

Genius/Fail Moments of the Week:

Allison: Her son is afraid of smoke detectors! #FAIL

Josh: Unknowingly let his daughter stay home from school for a snow day -- from the wrong school! #FAIL

Chris: Played Survive: Escape From Atlantis all day to keep his kids busy during a snow day! #GENIUS

Mandy: Signed up for the food delivery service, Plated. #GENIUS

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel:

Allison McMillan
Chris Sexton
JC Avena
Josh Puetz
Mandy Moore

Allison talks a bit about kids being curious, asking questions, and how they somehow sneakily get past some safety measures we try to put in place. The older ones blatantly just write us notes and leave the house.

04:53 - Andy Intro

Andy introduces us to parenting multiples and how he’s been “leading a small team!” We also comment on how our children always seem to plot against us.

08:17 - Sarah Intro

Sarah goes into how she’s navigating being the parent of a gymnast and how kids activities easily can consume your life. She also talks about how her little one is an empath and the panelists talk about how sad movies (i.e. Bambi) have ruined everyone forever as parents.

12:55 - Josh Intro

Josh says that his family has moved around a lot and that it can be hard on kids. He talks about his daughter’s hobbies which include cosplay and that they are entering the adolescent years terrified as two dads facing the puberty of their little girl. We are all confused as to why wearing bras is now the cool thing to do. (Before it’s necessary!) We also briefly touch on the difference between having boys and girls and gender neutrality.

22:02 - Mandy Intro

Mandy tells the story of how her daughter got the nickname “Chicken” and being a single mom. We then talk a little bit about a topic that we are going to delve into more in two weeks with our guest, Heidi Waterhouse: Internet Safety & Privacy.

26:25 - Johnny Intro

Johnny talks about some solutions he’s found to combat the Internet monitoring conundrum such as the Nvidia Shield and Mobicip.

We also talk about kids do have a conscience and are capable of understanding the difference between right and wrong. Andy mentions he is reading the book, The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt. We also weigh the pros and cons of “making” our kids watch educational content.

38:55 - KWu Intro

KWu says she is nervous about going back to work after having a baby. Allison suggests learning to enjoy little moments like finishing a cup of coffee when it was still hot. And then there’s the topic of pumping and how your brain chemistry changes after having children. The panel also touches on how having a partner can make parenting easier and Mandy talks briefly about being a single mom and using the Spoon Theory to get through the days. Except she calls them her “Fs to Give”.

49:32 - JC Intro

JC has kids of all ages (between 8 and 17) and talks about how it goes so fast. He also has a pet name for his daughter: “Monkey”. His family also loves their lives since having cut the cable cord.

56:48 - Chris Intro

Chris’ son wants to be a developer so he encourages him to play Minecraft.

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.  

Panel:

Allison McMillan
Andy Croll
Sarah Olson
Josh Puetz
Mandy Moore
Johnny Ray Austin
Katherine Wu
JC Avena
Chris Sexton