First Guest!
Heidi Waterhouse - Parent of two. Developer evangelist for LaunchDarkly. Volunteers teaching sex ed to teenagers. She likes to sew her own conference dresses and ride her bike.

1:00 Internet privacy and safety and how it is adaptable to kids of all ages.

How should kids protect themselves online, have manners, and use their time wisely. Online behavior is permanent these days, so kids should also consider using obfuscated names online. Pseudonyms are personas you can discard if necessary while keeping you safe. Online predation is possible, but you are more likely to be get gendered grief online.

8:00 Problematic relationships with Facebook

You can have a real name account, but you have to behave as if in an office all day. Kids have a harder time controlling impulses. Due to COPPA regulation, parents wanting their non teenage children to have an online account have to lie about the child’s age when signing them up. COPPA, well intentioned, but disenfranchises kids under 13 and forces parents to jump through hoops when getting their children online.

10:57 Wallet identity

Sometimes you want accolades and other positive achievements tied to your persona. Each kid is different and some will want the attention while others won’t. Some things you do in public and online forums will be public, regardless of your preference. As parents, we make decisions for our children. Everything decision we make for our children will be things they’ll have to live with. Some parents choose to not make choices for their children regarding online personas.

14:45 Less physical spaces

A book from Danah Boyd discusses how we’ve deprived teenagers from any space they can meet and hang out so the only space they have left is cyber space. Overscheduling, curfews, no hanging out at malls. Technology is making physical gatherings less common.

16:29 Cyber safety is the new Sex Ed

Schools have Google accounts for kids to use the Google suite for education. Cyber security education is the equivalent of abstinence only sex ed. 70% of parents have a password to their kids’ phones and monitor their devices.

20:35 Safe places for kids to explore online communication and not raising trolls.

Online platforms where kids can interact safely. Discord. Teach children what is appropriate, and give them the ability to identify what is right and wrong. “It’s only online, it doesn’t matter” is how you build an online troll. Everyone is a human on the other side of the screen.

24:51 Determining when your children should level up

Each kid is different and timing depends on each kid. Learnign what should be downloadable to your computer so it doesn’t break. What about your kid wanting a YouTube career? (Yes YouTube, no comments) Keeping their online circles to friend they know in person helps, while having open discussion about their online lives. Let them know they can be monitored, and privileges can be narrowed.

35:13 Genius/Fail moments

Andy - Picked up his kids from school but left his dog there. #FAIL

Allison - Continuation of last episode’s fail. Still reading fire safety book at bedtime. #FAIL

Heidi - 15YO assembled IKEA storage system by himself. #GENIUS

Chris - Kids decided to spend time roughhousing instead of online. Though he overheard from downstairs: SON: Stop! You’re going to break my arm! DAUGHTER: I don’t want to break your arm, I want to break your spirit! #GENIUS

Mandy - Going to Disney World! After a long long time of saving, it’s happening. #GENIUS

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Panel:

Allison McMillan
Chris Sexton
Andy Croll
Josh Puetz
Mandy Moore

Special Guest: Heidi Waterhouse.

Mandy was on “vacation” and has to make an appearance at another conference. Her daughter doesn’t want her to go and Mandy feels really bad about it. She’s been on the road a lot the past six months and is feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. JC says it’s important to learn to say no and recharge by doing hobbies. Chris says it comes down to priorities.

06:12 - Playing Activity Hooky: AS A PARENT!

Mandy also feels bad because she knowingly skipped her daughter’s gymnastics practice because after returning from her trip, she didn’t feel like going, her daughter didn’t bring it up, so they didn’t go! Revelation: Other people have been known to do it too!

The panelists talk about how most of them grew up with their parent’s beliefs being drilled into them that if you sign up for a commitment, you do the commitment. Allison had the opposite upbringing when it came to that though.

16:45 - Feeling Judgement

As well as feeling bad about all of the above, Mandy has people in her life that judge her parenting style -- namely nosy neighbors. The panel talks about the differences between mothers and fathers getting judged and possibly having different licenses in the gender department when it comes to being parents.

They also discuss kids playing outside these days and that it is scary to let your child run free sometimes but come to the consensus that it’s generally necessary and healthy.

27:07 - Letting Kids Figure it Out by Themselves

The panelists talk about how it’s important for kids to learn conflict resolution instead of solving all of their problems for them. Eventually, they WILL work it out! They also agree they like to let their kids be themselves and have some independence when it comes to dressing themselves.

Genius/Fail Moments of the Week:

Allison: Her son is afraid of smoke detectors! #FAIL

Josh: Unknowingly let his daughter stay home from school for a snow day -- from the wrong school! #FAIL

Chris: Played Survive: Escape From Atlantis all day to keep his kids busy during a snow day! #GENIUS

Mandy: Signed up for the food delivery service, Plated. #GENIUS

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel:

Allison McMillan
Chris Sexton
JC Avena
Josh Puetz
Mandy Moore

Allison talks a bit about kids being curious, asking questions, and how they somehow sneakily get past some safety measures we try to put in place. The older ones blatantly just write us notes and leave the house.

04:53 - Andy Intro

Andy introduces us to parenting multiples and how he’s been “leading a small team!” We also comment on how our children always seem to plot against us.

08:17 - Sarah Intro

Sarah goes into how she’s navigating being the parent of a gymnast and how kids activities easily can consume your life. She also talks about how her little one is an empath and the panelists talk about how sad movies (i.e. Bambi) have ruined everyone forever as parents.

12:55 - Josh Intro

Josh says that his family has moved around a lot and that it can be hard on kids. He talks about his daughter’s hobbies which include cosplay and that they are entering the adolescent years terrified as two dads facing the puberty of their little girl. We are all confused as to why wearing bras is now the cool thing to do. (Before it’s necessary!) We also briefly touch on the difference between having boys and girls and gender neutrality.

22:02 - Mandy Intro

Mandy tells the story of how her daughter got the nickname “Chicken” and being a single mom. We then talk a little bit about a topic that we are going to delve into more in two weeks with our guest, Heidi Waterhouse: Internet Safety & Privacy.

26:25 - Johnny Intro

Johnny talks about some solutions he’s found to combat the Internet monitoring conundrum such as the Nvidia Shield and Mobicip.

We also talk about kids do have a conscience and are capable of understanding the difference between right and wrong. Andy mentions he is reading the book, The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt. We also weigh the pros and cons of “making” our kids watch educational content.

38:55 - KWu Intro

KWu says she is nervous about going back to work after having a baby. Allison suggests learning to enjoy little moments like finishing a cup of coffee when it was still hot. And then there’s the topic of pumping and how your brain chemistry changes after having children. The panel also touches on how having a partner can make parenting easier and Mandy talks briefly about being a single mom and using the Spoon Theory to get through the days. Except she calls them her “Fs to Give”.

49:32 - JC Intro

JC has kids of all ages (between 8 and 17) and talks about how it goes so fast. He also has a pet name for his daughter: “Monkey”. His family also loves their lives since having cut the cable cord.

56:48 - Chris Intro

Chris’ son wants to be a developer so he encourages him to play Minecraft.

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.  

Panel:

Allison McMillan
Andy Croll
Sarah Olson
Josh Puetz
Mandy Moore
Johnny Ray Austin
Katherine Wu
JC Avena
Chris Sexton