039: Parenting Roles and Gender Equality

Parent Driven Development — Wed, 12 Feb 2020 05:00:00 -0500

Parent Driven Development

Episode 039: Parenting Roles and Gender Equality with Richard Schneeman

Schneems writes Ruby at Heroku, and maintains CodeTriage.com, a tool for helping people contribute to Open Source. He is in the top 50 Rails contributors and is an accidental maintainer of Sprockets and Puma. When he isn't obsessively compulsively refactoring code for performance, he writes such gems as Wicked, and derailed_benchmarks.

00:30 Welcome, Richard Schneeman!

01:00 All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers and the Myth of Equal Partnership

The book: All the Rage: Mothers Fathers and the Myth of Equal Partnership
Co-parenting, gender equality
Progressive relationships default into gender roles after kids

05:18 Progressive Parenting

What’s fair?
Progressive until they have to make a change..

08:15 Moms vs. Dads

Dad’s get applauded when caring for children in public
Creating boundaries of designated mom and dad jobs with the kids

10:50 Visible Work vs. Invisble Work

How to balance and create boundaries between partners
RSVP’s - CC’d emails, response, birthday presents, who’s responsible?
Coding pairs and how they relate

17:01 How to Define Who is Responsible?

Create a system
The mentorship manner
Not only doing what is asked, but proactively taking steps

21:15 Meta Tasks

Partners double checking each others work, basically twice the work!
Micro managing

25:30 Calendar System

Shared task and to-do lists
Bringing work management systems into home management systems; Learning AGILE
Schedule a weekly meeting with your partner to go over shared cared
Check the calendar!

31:01 Genius / Fail moments

Josh’s daughter gets her hair dyed and it looks great, but her new conditioner leaks the blue color from her hair all over the bathroom! #fail
Chris coordinates Grandpa time to give his wife more free time #genius
Richard’s son glues his favorite picture on his bedroom wall, with handwritten marker too #geniusfail
Allison has a genius in Sweden with her two young children

All the Rage: Mothers, Father, and the Myth of Equal Partnership