Episode 017: Work and Family Boundaries

00:16 Welcome, Chris Arcand!

Chris is a Software Engineer at HashiCorp where he works on Terraform Enterprise, a product that adds collaboration and governance features to the popular open source infrastructure tool, Terraform. As an advocate of distributed teams and open source, he’s spent the majority of his career at other distributed, open source companies such as Red Hat. He calls the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, Minnesota his home where he organizes the local Ruby users group, RubyMN, as well as moderates the ‘MSP Tech’ community Slack. Outside of software, Chris is an avid backpacker and amateur ice hockey player, as well as the father of a rambunctious little 19-month-old.

01:32 Balancing Working From Home with a 19-Month-Old

• The Aspect of Literal Time: Utilizing time when kids are napping/otherwise busy
• "Shift Work" vs Having Flexible Hours
  • Hashicorp's "Flexible Time Off" Policy vs "Paid Time Off"
• Approaching Work and Dividing Up Your Day

06:46 Making Family Plans

09:29 Commuting Vs Working From Home

• Location is Vital
• Having an At-Home Nanny

13:28 Choosing a Nanny Over Daycare

18:19 Maintaining Balance and Avoiding Excessive Interruptions

• Noise. Cancelling. Headphones.
• Shutting The Door

21:14 Improving Mental Presence When Not Working

• Give Yourself Time to Decompress Before Family Time
• Mindfulness/Meditation

25:23 Exposing Kids to "I'm working, and this is how I'm working."

43:42 Genius / Fail Moments

• JC: Has successfully kept his kid alive for 18 years! (#Genius) Also, his sophomore is starting in varsity football! (#Genius) Also, also, he is the team photographer which is a great hobby to have. (#Genius)
• Josh: Andrew Bredow's Chore Chart
• Chris A: His hockey room! His son is showing interest! (#Genius) ...But, having a new roof put on his house during naptime was probably not the best plan. (#Fail)
• Chris S: Let his kids help him paint a room! (#Genius) ...But, it turns out they weren't very good at it. (#Fail)

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

Chris Sexton
JC Avena
Josh Puetz

Special Guest: Chris Arcand.

Episode 014: Conferencing After Babies

00:16 Welcome, Tess and Sean Griffin!

Tess is a Site Engineer at GitHub. Sean is a developer at Shopify, renowned Rails committer, the creator of the Diesel Framework, host of The Yak Shave podcast, and a former host of The Bike Shed podcast.

02:14 Deciding on Conference to Go To and Speak At

Conferences who offer on-site childcare are very attractive. Shoutout to Ruby Central conferences and Rust Belt Rust!

09:56 Evening Childcare

Going through conference organizer recommendations is preferencial because they spend a lot of time scouting the cities, however, services like UrbanSitter and Care.com are options in a pinch.

Conferences that offer child/kid-friendly after-hours activities are also great for parents. It seems like more conferences like that are popping up and opting for less bar atomosphere gatherings. 👍

16:38 Awesome Conference-Provided Amenities / Wishlist Items

• Swag Options for Kids (onesies and t-shirts!)
• Badges for Kids and Babies
• A list of kid-tolerant folks / Babysitting Co-ops for parents amongst attendees / Equipment share (Could be in the form of a Slack channel.

23:34 Having Answers BEFORE Asking People to Commit

Just having people click a box saying they will need childcare but not having any details about what those plans are isn't cool. (It also gives them a great excuse to turn down coming.) Parents want to know from the get-go that there is a solid childcare plan in place before they commit to going to a conference. Remember, the younger the child, the more logistics are involved around needs and stuff (equipment).

• Is there a supermarket or supermarket delivery service nearby?
• How will I get from the airport to the conference hotel?
• Is there additional costs for children?

27:31 Getting Around

Public transportation around your conference is key. 10-15 minutes away from the airport is an ideal distance.

29:26 School-Age Children and Conferences

32:43 Genius / Fail Moments

• Chris: Print-and play projects (#Genius)
• Tess: Investing in a nice child gate (#Genius)
• Allison: Having thoughtful and interactive conversations with your kids (#Genius)
• Sean: Teaching babies words is hilarious! 🤣

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com. Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.
We are listener supported. Please consider Supporting us via Patreon and gaining access to our our kind Slack Community.

Panel

Chris Sexton
Allison McMillan

Special Guests: Sean Griffin and Tess Griffin.

Episode 013: Babies at Work?!

00:15 Welcome, Leah Silber!

Leah is the CEO of Tilde Inc. She is also an organizer of EmberConf, RustConf and RailsConf, and Ember.js Core Team Member, a jQuery Core Team alum, author of Event Driven: How to Run Memorable Tech Conferences, and all around technophile.

01:08 KWu is Planning Her Son's 1st Birthday Party! + How Old Are They?

Don't let first birthday parties get out of hand. Not worth it. Get a cake. Let the kid smash. Also, please stop referring to your child's age in months when they turn 2.

04:05 Babies at Work: It’s Weird that it’s Weird

In August 2017, Leah wrote this blog post and it was super well received. In the blog post, she talks about a lot of the objections and concern she had at first that turned out to be unfounded. It turns out, bringing her baby to work changed the mood and culture of Tilde in a positive way -- even among self-proclaimed "non-baby people".

09:26 What About The Fussy Days?

• Working from home can be an option especially on days like vaccination days.
• Having a quiet area like a conference room or an empty office gets people through short fussy spells.
• If that doesn't work, going home is encouraged.
• Leah says that having the babies at work made actually for a much happier baby!

17:56 Nursing

• Up to the mom! Breastfeeding in public is acceptable, and there are dedicated nursing rooms/spaces to keep it legal (and more private)
• It becomes normalized! People don't even notice
  • Squatty Potty

23:53 Culture From The Core

• Stating expectations for parents/non-parents during the interview process
• Scaling as children age
• Bring the Nanny to work too!
• Older children must be up to date on vaccinations
• Becomes a routine

32:43 Does Company Size Matter?

• Just because there are 50 people in a company does not mean that the volume of babies is going to go up
• Setting a limit is an option: luck of the draw
• The bigger the company, the more space non-baby people have to stay away from the babies

35:02 Program Evolution

• Effects on Nannies
• Beneficial for dads too!

42:37 Avoiding Judgement

• Turns out, people (who aren't the child's parents) are more helpful than judgemental
• Pets are not babies...no, your dog can not come to work because my baby is here

48:31 Genius / Fail Moments

• KWu: Water coming out of the tub faucet is fascinating and acts as a baby magnet to draw them to the bathroom for a bath! (#Genius)
• Allison: Creating an insane schedule of hodgepodge childcare that involves massive amounts of logistics. (#Fail)
• Leah: Shoutout to the parents who think their kids will never walk. Her son started walking at 18 months! (#Genius)

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com. Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.
We are listener supported. Please consider Supporting us via Patreon and gaining access to our our kind Slack Community.

Panel

Allison McMillan
Katherine Wu

Special Guest: Leah Silber.

Episode 012: Traveling with Kids

00:48 The Great Screen Debate

Today's particular panelists are all about screens while traveling as long as it's not detracting from the travel experience. Everyone agrees that screens are a great way to keep kids occupied and quiet.

08:09 Transportation Challenges, Woes, and Genius Tips

• When your kid gets flagged on her first plane ride...
• TSA Pre√ (Worth its weight in gold!!)
• Download shows to devices in advance
• Have a variety of activities (besides screens)
  • Hotel Paper & Pens
  • Books
  • Cheerios
  • ... and a Walkman?
• Building Up Good Will with People Around You: Is it worth bribing others (with chocolate??) and socializing or should they just deal with you traveling with your kiddo(s)?
• Use Car Services like Lyft!

24:25 Transportation + Car Seats (Deserves its own conversation, obviously.)

• Amazon a cheap one + have delivered to your destination then donate when you go home (Pro tip: Do the same thing with diapers!)
• Uber and Lyft have car seat options in select cities
• Renting Car Seats: Yay or Nay?

32:58 On-The-Go Childcare

• Hotel Concierge - Check Yelp Reviews!
• Make sure you know where the closest hospital/urgent care center is

37:46 We're Here. Now What?

• Google "Top 10 things to do in X"
• Use an app like Winnie

39:48 A Round of Helpful Hints and Tricks

• Josh: If possible, get a hotel room with a separate bedroom.
• Mandy: Hotels with pools are delightful. (Especially if your kids can swim on their own.) Also use Uber Eats for food delivery to the hotel if going out is undesirable.
• Chris: Pizza chains will deliver to hotel pools for an easy pizza party. Great for traveling sports teams!
• Allison: Bring a roll of duct tape and use a taller chair on the side of the bed to act as a bedrail.
• Andy: Aluminum foil and a sponge!

43:42 Genius / Fail Moments

• Allison: MilkStork: A breast milk shipping company when you're away from your infant.
• Andy: Andy's son offered his teddy bear to a friend in need!
• Chris: Playing Mario Kart on the Nintendo Wii as a family activity to teach good sportsmanship and kindness.
• Mandy: Staying on the boardwalk part of the beach on the ground level. Also, if you do a lot of traveling, save up points! Mandy uses Marriott Rewards to get free nights in select hotels for summer vacation fun!

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com.

Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com.

Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel

Andy Croll
Chris Sexton
Allison McMillan
Mandy Moore
Josh Puetz

Episode 009: Planning Childcare at Conferences

00:25 We're joined by Abby Phoenix today

01:00 When did childcare at Ruby Central events start?

started in 2015 and have now been at 6 conferences
The intention is to always have childcare at RailsConf and RubyConf

03:37 Where to start when you want to have childcare at your conference

Treat it as any other vendor
Go to the conference venue and ask for recommendations
Ask for recommendations from the hotel, local user groups, etc.

6:10 Smaller conferences

Smaller conferences are a little more difficult but also easier because if it's in the same location every year you can use the same provider year after year

7:30 Very important that childcare is based in the city of the conference

They know how to get around
They have alternative options
They are on time
They have the equipment they need

9:10 How many people use childcare at conferences?

Typically 5-7 kids
Usually younger children especially since RubyConf and RailsConf are during the school year so most older children are in school
Always a question of whether or not a parent can make it work because bringing a child to a conference can be challenging

13:45 Lactation room is also offered

Visibility is very important
It is important that it is known in the community that childcare and lactation rooms are available at these conferences
What to call the lactation room?
How it works at a conference to make sure you don't get walking in on and to make sure it is easy
The lactation room has outlets and a fridge.

20:20 We tangent about all the things we can't wait to forget as parents

Diapers
Wiping bums
and more

21:30 Lactation rooms are really easy to put in place as a conference organizer

22:20 What have been the biggest challenges of providing childcare at a conference?

There were things we did not know to ask when we started and so now we have a list which is helpful
Abby goes in to which questions they have started to ask

26:00 What do you wish you could provide?

Evening childcare so parents can do things.
They will try to work with childcare providers to offer after-hours care but can't provide it themselves

31:00 Childcare is often tailored to 1-5 year olds

Most of the participants are younger

32:00 Mandy talks about what you can do with an older child at a conference

Is it worth it to bring an older child to a conference?
What conferences have a "kids track"?
How to engage older kids at conferences?
The childcare provider will often tailor childcare towards the age range of the children there

39:30 What are the costs involved for organizers and participants

Participants are not charged for using childcare
Discussion about costs in different cities

44:00 Genius / Fail moments

Allison - My daughter has had a rough few weeks and loves being bounced on a ball but it's tiring for me and hurts my back, so I put her on the ball, tummy down, bounced her, and it calmed her down and she got gas out #Genius
Andy - After a difficult day, my daughter wrote "I love you daddy, even when you're grumpy" #Genius? or #Fail?
Mandy - My daughter got the principals award for having a positive attitude, was responsible, did homework, and more. I was very proud! #Genius
KWu - I'm on call for the week and so I set up a daybed in the office and negotiated with my husband that after the wake-ups, I would go to the office and turn off the monitor and be off duty for a few hours #Genius
Abby - My daughters are very picky eaters. My youngest will eat waffles that she'll eat for breakfast. Recently she brought one over to me and said, "mommy I really like these. I like that there is candy inside" #Fail
With my oldest, I asked her to describe her perfect meal and I thought she'd talk about candy or ice cream but she said "My perfect meal is a cheese plate" and so from then on every night has been a cheese plate for dinner, which to her means little bits of a variety of food #Genius

54:00 RubyConf is coming!

Find more information at @rubyconf and rubyconf.org has some information right now.
Registration will open in August or September

54:40 Contact Us!

Email us to ask questions.

Follow & Support

Please follow us @parentdrivendev on Twitter or email us at panel@parentdrivendevelopment.com. Our website is at ParentDrivenDevelopment.com
Support us via Patreon and get access to our our Slack Community.

Panel:

Mandy Moore
Allison McMillan
KWu
Andy Croll

Special Guest: Abby Phoenix.